Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
