how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
