I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am midnight drunk by noon
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
