never play flip cup with pint glasses
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize