You're my little dorito
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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