Duck Duck Cougar?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
