Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize