im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
there is puke in my bra ... again
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
