Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
