With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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