Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
