put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize