Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I love having hate sex.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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