3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
