fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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