Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
