I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
