I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
