I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
oh god the rape fog is back!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
