Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
