Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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