She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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