Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
