she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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