dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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