bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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