Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
