Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
