If i could tip my vagina, i would.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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