She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
