I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
