yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
