My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
being pregnant is like rehab
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
