in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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