Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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