her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize