Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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