One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
