did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
