i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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