So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I pour the whiskey from now on
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
