ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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