I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
