I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize