I smell stomach acid.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
