We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
