So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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