i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
