Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
