He had one of those small greek statue penises
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
