I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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