College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
