I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
