Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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