im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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