i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
