is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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