NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Houston, we have a blender
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
