my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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