You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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