i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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